The key points
- Private negotiation help differs from court-connected custody mediation.
- Custody mediation does not decide child or spousal support.
- Follow court notices about mediation and orientation.
- A mediated agreement still needs the appropriate court process.
Identify the problem you need help solving
If the spouses agree on the terms and need help completing forms, preparation may address a paperwork task. If they disagree about terms, a questionnaire cannot decide the disagreement.
A mediator helps people discuss options and seek agreement. A lawyer can advise an individual about rights and the consequences of proposed terms. Those roles are not interchangeable.
Read the agreement article to identify what remains unresolved. Do not purchase a document package expecting it to negotiate the settlement for you.
Distinguish private settlement work from Family Court Services
Spouses may seek help negotiating property, support, or other divorce terms. Court-connected child custody mediation has a more specific purpose: working on a parenting plan.
California Courts explains that custody mediation addresses legal and physical custody and parenting time. It does not handle child support, spousal support, or property division. Discuss the scope of any private engagement directly with the provider.
A resolution of parenting time does not mean every financial term is settled. Keep a clear list of the decisions still needed for the final Judgment.
Follow the court process when custody is disputed
California Courts says that when a custody and visitation matter is set for a judge’s decision, mediation comes before the hearing. Courts may use mediation or child custody recommending counseling, with local arrangements for orientation and appointments.
Read the court notice and Family Court Services instructions. Ask which process your court uses and whether an orientation must be completed before the appointment. Do not skip a court-directed step because another part of the divorce is agreed.
The children article explains how parenting and support documents fit the divorce packet.
Ask about safety and confidentiality before the session
If domestic violence or safety concerns are involved, tell Family Court Services. California Courts explains that separate meetings and a support person may be available, with specific rights where abuse allegations or a restraining order apply.
Ask what the mediator can share with the court or the other parent. Do not assume private settlement discussions and recommending counseling have identical confidentiality rules.
Mediation is not a reason to give up advice or accept terms you do not understand. Seek individual help if pressure, financial uncertainty, or safety prevents informed participation.
Put any agreement through the final paperwork stage
An agreement reached in discussions needs to be written in the appropriate form and submitted for court approval where required. A mediator’s meeting does not itself enter a divorce Judgment.
Financial disclosures, final forms, and the minimum period remain relevant. If no agreement is reached, the unresolved issues may need a judge’s decision. The appropriate next steps depend on the case and the court’s instructions.
See ways to get help without full representation before deciding which tasks you will handle yourself.
Common questions
Does every agreed couple have to hire a private mediator?
Do not assume a private mediator must be hired simply because you are divorcing. Identify the unresolved issues and follow any court-directed process. Court-connected custody mediation is a separate question from voluntarily buying private settlement help.
Can custody mediation settle child support?
California Courts describes its custody mediation process as focused on custody and parenting time, not child or spousal support. Keep support terms and the required documents on the list of issues to resolve.
What if our court uses recommending counseling?
Ask Family Court Services which process applies and what information may be reported to the judge. Read the notices and orientation materials. Do not assume every county uses the same arrangements.
Is a signed mediated settlement already a divorce?
No. The required final papers and court approval remain, along with the applicable minimum period. Mediation helps work on terms, but does not substitute for a Judgment.
Can preparation software resolve a disagreement?
No. It records supported information and terms. If the spouses disagree or need advice about their rights, seek the appropriate negotiation or legal help before describing the case as fully agreed.
Official California references
Requirements and forms can change. Check the current instructions and your local court’s requirements. This page is not an attorney-reviewed legal opinion.